Sunday, August 16, 2009

Bella Swan ain't got nothin' on me


I have been in a funky mood today. It was one of those days where I wanted to veg and sleep and forget about this day.

1.) My car is dead and I don't think it's a vampire car that will rise again. It is from now on to be dubbed the "Edward Cullen"

2.) My parents are acting crazy cause they have problems with their phone on just about once a week.

3.) my determination to be left alone was impossibly interrupted on an hourly basis.

Then, Sunday it just got worse:
I went to dinner with the kellebelle at J Alexander's and then came out to my car put the key in the ignition and NOTHING, literally nothing, the clock didn't work the windows wouldn't roll down, the automatic locks wouldn't even work...I WAS SCREWED!!!!

So, called my Mom and she came to get me and gave me her car to use...the most bizarre car ever...Kelley and I went to the gas station and the remote thingy only works maybe 50 percent of the time...

I didn't lock the doors, Kelley went and got in, and voila, the doors lock, the car tried to EAT my best friend!!! Oh No, you di'int!
BITCH! I will Cut You!

Anyhoo, then we couldn't figure out the air-conditioning, despite reading the manual...
BECAUSE *drum roll*
It's a freakin German hunk of metal unlike my American Chevy piece of metal that doesn't move on it's own!

Stupid German machine!

Anyhoo, so I go on Sunday to the restaurant to tell them not to tow my dead car until I can get to it on Monday and as is Southern hospitality custom, I held the door for a large family and as the door opens....and then closes...there goes my
It was caught and being crushed...I mustered up the voice to say "Someone, please open the door! Then pull out my finger and try to bend it to make sure it's not broken, it's not BTW it's just really, really, really, really, BRUISED AND SWOLLEN!

I have one word OUCH!!

So, let's recap, car died, drivng bizzaro car, crushed finger.

Then comes TODAY, Monday, I don't care what u crush there is no getting out of student teaching, so I go, I'm about 5 minutes late and sans (without) my usual Starbucks fix
so I was very unhappy not to mention trying to figure out how the hell to get my car towed when I cannot be there! GOOD LUCK!

ENTER: The amazing and wonderful Kellbelle she went to my house and got my spare keys and left them under the mat for the tow truck! I LOVE HER!

She's a rock star everybody loves her!

So, they tow the car and I'm hanging pics on the wall at school and lose my balance FOR NO REASON and almost fall...

My mentor teacher asked me to go to her car to get some cokes and I'm carrying them by their handy dandy handle and....ta rips...cokes go flying...the cherry on top of a frickin AWESOME day!

Let's hope my luck changes soon, I need one of these:
or one of these:
Now for the issues:
Robsten or not Robsten? That is the question
I'm no Ted Casablanca, but I'm gonna offer a Teditorial...


Dear Summit: If Rob and Kstew like each other and wanna hook up or date or what! Just shoot the cotton-pickin movies, make them true to the books, and get over it!

Dear Anyone: WARNING: Until Breaking Dawn has started shooting and we have it confirmed that they WILL in fact shoot it, then don't talk about Summit NOT making it or I will go all CHUCK NORRIS on your ass!!!!!

I don't care that Rob is haunted by his frickin hoo...he's also makimg a crap load of money, so for every screaming fan girl also comes a CRAP load of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$

and don't give me this crap about he doesn't care and blah blah...he may not spend it on designer clothes but guess what, he pays for hotel rooms at Chateau Marmont, at 5,000 bucks a night and don't tell me those "bodyguards" work for FREE!
hell no!

So, make the money, shoot the movies and quit ur bitchin Summit AND RPATTZ who, let's all admit is bitching, u know it's true! Just do ur job and all will be well then as always happens ur 15 minutes of fangirls will fade too!

Just shoot ALL the Twilight Saga books or ELSE! I'll cut a bitch!!!

Dear Classy and Beautiful Ashley Green:
I have to admit I have a little girl crush on you....but...u shouldn't have posed for naked pics, but if u did ain't no thang! You bes hot! You work hard for ur bod show it off girlfriend!!

Okay so I LOVE's why:

This is of course Kellan Lutz ladies and gentlemens

Allow me to enlighten u in case you don't know how Twitter got me a pass to meet this amazing hottie and all my friends....but he's mine girls back off...kelley can have James Marsters and Katie (aka ecnurse87) can have Rob....or TLau since she's only like 3 years older than him and he is well below mine and Kelley's cougar age!

To calculate your cougar age limit, divide your age in half and add 7 there you go for me and Kellebelle it's 21! U do the math! And Nori is married so nevermind her!

Anyhow, I was on Twitter on Sunday before the new ep of True Blood and heard someone talking to Katie (ecnurse87) about why she didn't get her pic with Kellan when she comes up from Mississippi to the Nashville Twi-tour!

Me: huh? Kellan isn't coming! What are these peeps talking about? I only knew of PFach and the wolves coming, so Kellebelle the wise decides we will look it up!

Kelley: maybe, they have added him
Me: No way in hell we aren't that lucky here in Nashvegas!
Kelley: *types*
Me: Is he coming? huh? huh?
Kelley: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look what just came up on the Nashville Twitour page! Kellan Lutz

Me: *hangs mouth open in shock* then reality of the sitch hits me and


All of a sudden no more finger pain, car, what car? oh yeah whatevs! I get to meet and take a pic with KELLAN LUTZ! HOLY CRAP BALLS!!!!!

The end.

Good story isn't it, yeah I thought so too....

So now, not only do I get to meet this man whom I love:

PFach *fist bump* but he is very very married! to Jennie Garth whom I LOVE so u know it's awesome and all, but TAKEN!

now I get to meet this man who is in my fantasies on a nightly basis and the subect of many inappropriate dreams...

KELLAN LUTZ! You will be mine oh yes you will be mine! No! I'm not a stalker I swear! Okay maybe a little but not a dangerous one!

It hasn't sunk in yet!

So, that is my story, my opinion oughta be urs if it's not...oh well!!! I don't care

I GET TO MEET KELLAN LUTZ! nah nah nah boo boo!

Queen of Randomness,


  1. Whew!!!Yeah Kellan is very HAWT in person! I'm someone who knows!!

  2. WHOA! Big week!

    Btw..AMEN on the Robsten bit...I still think it's gross though lol

  3. So much happens to you!

    tough luck!

    Chevy's yuck :)

    And yes Kellan is ALL yours!

    You deserve some hotness after a week like that!