Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Europe part 1: The UK (England)

K in case you didn't know I recently went to Europe. Yay!
and now I can't find my major stuff that went in my wallet as I didn't take one to Europe with me this sucks! Thus goes the story of my life, with every good thing comes something little that sucks just enough to ruin my fun!

So after a long six hour flight....we landed in London! I was psyched, but my Mom was motion sick...that sucked...so after some jet lag recovery time we made our way to England's 
most famous department store...it's a freaking huge place! Like London! Hello lots of freakin people!

This ladies and gentlemen is a  part of one side of Harrod's department store of which I obtained a purse and some presents for my girls! Don't try to shop in the actual store though it's wayyyyyy expensive....and the dollar is weak...I gave the dude like 400 USD and he gave me 236 British pounds...wtf!!!!????

disclaimer:  I am NOT the best photographer in the world...just sayin'

This is Windsor castle where the queen "summers" or whatever...she was "in residence that day." You could have eaten off the floors, that's how clean it was....srsly! Those Brits definitely work their English butts off when it has anything to do with Royalty!

Dear Prez O: the pound and the Euro are kicking our ass....do something!!!

Dear Followers: forgive how lamespice and boring these pics are you take a million and half the time you forget what they are of...what did we do before digital cameras?  I mean there is not enough film in the world!

Dear Kelley: You suck! Why do you get the PFace autograph and not me why does everyone on twitter love you and not me ....I'm developing a complex...i swear!

Dear Kelley: here is a castle that you could move into when you marry Rpattz...(yeah right)
You would have to kick out the queen of england though...and she has lots of guards...

see lots of guards...er..ummm..er.....

see lots of guards...they have instruments instead of guns but you get the picture!

Holy crap! I am the most unphotogenic person on Earth I look horrible and what the hell is wrong with my foot? wtf? Dude this sucks...I can't take a good picture if my life depended on it I swear...I look so dumpy and fatness here....lamespice!  Well anyway, that's me in front of St. George's chapel attached to Windsor Castle where King Henry VIII is buried next to Jane Seymour (the wife of his not the actress, she's still alive)

OMG! What the hell...could I look any huger???? Dude! I am so unphotogenic, either that or fat?  maybe a little of both???

Dear kellebelle: I took this picture of the red phone booths for you, they are getting more rare every day...these two were not functioning they were locked up behind a gate!

Random English greenery moment:  *chirping crickets*


And now...for one of the main reasons I LOVE THE UK!

Wish there were more guys that looked like this when I was there....Damn he's fine! It's almost as if he could dazzle people...oh wait..umm...yeah...uh

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Chez Paris...Good Bye...Bonjourno Roma!

Disclaimer: None of the following pictures are mine...I have hundreds already in my camera including many of Pocket Edward they will be posted when I get home with fun commentary! Just sayin'

Okay my loyal five followers...

The following is a run down of what I've been doing in London and France for the past few days.

Rode on this through the Chunnel....so fun...so nice and posh..chic!

Dear England: I hate to break it to you...but France's countryside is prettier at least what I could see from the train under the English channel. I'm so gonna rent the movie French Kiss when I get home! Sorry the picture is so big?

Dear Mom: I'm so glad that I didn't have to go to the Louvre by meself, that sucked I was scared I would get so lonely I would start talking to some statue and they would kick me out.

Dear Louvre: You are insanely huge! WTF? It took me like 2 hours to find the Mona Lisa and when I did it was so anticlimactic...it was...sorry no big deal.

Dear Vincent Van Gogh: You pissed me off! Why weren't your best paintings on display in the Musee d'Orsay? It was like here's one of me and my bedroom, but where the hell was starry night....not cool vinny not cool.

That painting was all I wanted to see not this one!

This one!

But was it there....of course not! Where is this painting?

Dear King Louis 14th: I don't do roman numerals takes to much thinking for those. Groddy you only took a bath 7 times a year...nasty! Versailles was insanely gaudy but dude if I were the most powerful man in a country with endless resources I would do whatever I want including have gold walls...but I'm not so whatever...I'll stick with hot running water and bathing everyday!

This is the hall of mirrors in Versaille like i said gaudy
Dear Europe: Why do you insist on making me take pictures when my hair hasn't been straightened in forever because your stupid plugs are dumb or something! I hate that! I love to visit you my Europe, but only visit, for all of you (kellebelle) who bitch about where you live, if you live in the USA you are lucky. We are all lucky to live there....respect! Europe is fun, but ummm..naked men sun bathing next to the Seine river in Paris....gross! Anyone see Eurotrip...it was like that...kthanxbye!

Dear Peter Facinelli: Why are you following Kellebelle and not me? I know she worked hard but i'm cool too...hehe nah it's okay she bes my homegirl!

Dear Pocket Edward: You are damn near irresistable...even my Mom is getting on the band wagon..although I don't think she gets where Pocket Edward came from.

Why are you in a toilet paper roll? Well my PE tried to climb the Eiffel Tower yesterday...ummm...he doesn't remember how small he is....let's just say he's brooding right now! Tucked away in my purse to explore Rome...

Dear French Workers: Tourists suck...I get it...they are annoying, but if you work behind the cash register at a gift shop get a clue, be nice to the costumers we don't have to buy your gawdy crap and we hate when you are rude about it...so knock it off!

Dear French Cafes: You rock my world...can't we have one like every five feet in Nashville like you do here in Paris...umm and can you send the recipes there too?

Dear Wine: Umm..you are damn good! I love that you are free anywhere with dinner in France....AMEN!

Dear Paris: You bes cool as hell....I bes back I promise! Now on to Roma...love it love it...

Love you guys miss all my friends in the states I'm a little homesick for my bed and my cats and my friends but I'll get over it as I'm walking through the colloseum in Rome...hehe just kidding...

Love Julz

Sunday, June 21, 2009

In Paris and Je t'aime So far (means I love you)

Hi everyone from Paree, it's spelled Paris but it is pronounced Par-ee. I'm sitting in the lobby of this frickin AWESOME hotel in Paris and have to say, like it more than London.

Dear London, You were fun, but dude, Paris? Hello! Awesome!
Dear Paris: So far, you rock my world, what little I've seen of you. It's like a nice mix of crazy and awesome here which equals Parfait! or perfect.

Dear Nashville: Can't say I miss you yet, but I'm sure America will be looking good come the end of this week.

Dear Besties: Miss you bunches! Trust me you are all getting presents. Don't have much money, the Dollar ain't what it used to be let me tell you it's like 50 cents for every Euro, meaning like I got 400 dollars and they gave me 200 pounds...it would be less if it was Euros, don't know how much less, but less. Anyway, I have big plans for the next few days, the 3 I have here and the 3 I have in Rome, before my insanely long flight back home. Damn!

Dear Kellebelle: Babysit your little butt off because everything here is so freakin expensive. I've left London and I'm now in Paris and the exchange rate is worse. The Euro is kicking our ass...the pound isn't doing too bad either!
Here's a "for instance" I exchanged my money at the airport. I gave the man 400 US Dollars, he then proceeded to give me 215 lbs. you do the math...grrr...that cut my money in half, but see it evens out because like a 20 dollar book in the US would be like 10 pounds here...that makes it even see...sort of...it's confusing.

Dear Mom: Enough with being sick. You have had several sicknesses and I am sick of the sickness. I want you to feel better so you can go with me and enjoy Par-ee.

Dear 5 followers: First of all,,,,, Kelley has like 23 wtf? I know she is funnier than me but dude that's just nuts! No one Loves Me!!!! Wahhhh!

Okay I'm over my moment.
Sorry bout that...true colors shining through..you see my true colors that why I love you...don't be afraid to let them show I see your true colors....okay I figured out why no one follows me. Well I will bet you 10 Euros you will, when me and Pocket Eddie get back from Europe with all our pictures...he is proving to be very photogenic if not a good poser. I have a whole other blog called, Pocket Edward goes to Europe...address is...pocketedwardgoestoeurope.blogspot.com...go here to read about his adventures, then when I get back on june 29th go here to see them...follow pocket Eddie he loves Europe and wants to show it off! Go Now! I said now!

Dear Rpattz: Just Let me say, I'm sorry! You are so hot we sometimes forget ourselves and think you are really a vampire that doesn't need air. This girl is not like every stalker fan that you have, we will not all attack you and try to choke you so we can take a picture of you. Ummm...what the hell was this girl smokin?

Dear Europe: What's with my straightening iron not working, my hair looks like crap which=pics of me look like crap...get it! Work already! Damn you!

Friday, June 19, 2009

More England to come then of to Chez Paris and Pocket Edward

Dear England: What's with the frickin weather? It's cold here! Jackets required in June, seriously
Dear unphotogenicness: Leave me alone! Seems like every picture I take I look like a fact cow!
Dear my pocket Edward please use your vampire dazzling to make it easier to take your picture.

On that note I started this blog before I let PE venture out he was stuck in the hotel for like 2 days and was getting restless because there is NOTHING on British TV that would appeal to his little plastic vampire likes.

Yesterday we went to this castle owned by some rich dude. Madam Tussaud's which my mom and I are visiting today I'll get my picture with Johnny Depp, man meat indeed. PE got a little freaked out at all the huge wax people he didn't understand why I could move and they couldn't. He also saw all this weaponry and wanted to use it but there was only one thing there he could fight. The WEATHER! lol no there is more...you will have to wait until I get back from Europe to see but these pictures will be worth the wait.

Dear Harry Potter: I saw the very first moving staircase from Hogwarts and the dining hall that the first movie's feast and sorting hat were filmed. It was at Oxford, natch, and I bought Pocket Edward a T-shirt from Oxford because he says he went there. yeah the T-shirt fits me better so I think I'm gonna be an Indian giver and take it back....lol....no offense to indians...love you guys!

Dear Mom: Yes, I am five years old and yes I like to play with a 7 inch plastic doll with a bouffant...don't judge...just deal...k? Actually she is being so cool about it, but she doesn't get it when I take pictures that aren't "technically history related, Whatever.....

Dear Besties both on and off the net Love you guys! I miss you so much! Can't wait to come back and tell you about all my big adventures. To my net besties...be back on soon

I'm scared to death of France. It's hard enough getting around here much less in chez paris, and here I (sort of) speak the language. I know like three French phrases and how the hell do I order off a menu I don't know. My Mom and I have trouble finding places to eat as it is...how the hell will we do it in French and Itatlian...ehhh...we'll figure it out I suppose.

Dear Kelley: My cats are lonely without me who wouldn't be? lol love you thanks for taking care of my possessions.

Love ya


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Quickie Blog From English Hell

Okay seriously, I have a case of the Mondays in a bad way. We arrived in England to my Mother throwing up in the airport bathroom for like 20 minutes. Then, we got to the hotel and our rooms are not going to be ready until 10. It is now 8:46 AM here.

Dear England: Stop sucking! IMMEDIATELY! I know it is not your fault, but I didn't fly for frickin ever to sit in a hotel lobby, with my Mom passed out on a couch in the lobby near me and me looking like crap...see plane reference abover for why.

It's not really that big a deal. We had a half day thingie scheduled for today but since we have a "free day" on Thursday, I had it resheduled as I really don't want to do things in a foreign country BY MYSELF! Backpacking is not for me.

This post sucks, so far my trip sucks, let's just pray that my Mom feels better after a little nappiepoo and then we can at least go out and have a nice dinner. For crying out loud. I AM SO PISSED but this is just day one no biggie! We have 15 more days to experience all Europe has to offer, just pray that they aren't all this bad, please Lord if you love me at all...don't let this day ever repeat!


Sunday, June 14, 2009

Counting Down Until E-day

Okay for all of you who don't know what E-day is....it's me going to Europe on Monday!
Here's where I'm going:
London, Duh!
Paris, duh!

Rome, Duh!

So like, I went to shop with my Momma today and she is the bestest she bought me a lotta stuff, she wants me to REPRESENT! overseas.

Dear Dad: wtf?  What is your deal lately? I love you more than anything, but why you being all up in people's kool-aid?  That ain't cool!

On a more depressing note...we ( my mom and I) are praying and keeping our hopeful fingers crossed that this was just a temporary moment or days of wierdness.  

See my 5 followers, my Dad is a gentleman of the older persuasion (dirt calls him old).

He's 72 as of May 22 of last month. duh! He's severely overweight and on the end of a time frame given for quadruple bypass surgery he had like 8 years ago or something like that. Here's the thing, my Mom is worried my Dad is gonna leave us for the angels any day now, she senses with her spidey senses that something is amiss with him.  She's hoping it's a momentary lapse in judgement and not his Diabetes or heart or ankle or you name it he's got it! 

My gene pool is screwed.  Except in the brains department, we got us some big brains in the Perk fam.  

Here are some fun things my children (if I ever find a decent man to have them with not so sure that's ever gonna happen) will inherit through my DNA.  Let's hope their Dad has good genes to balance out my bad ones. Sorta like my sister-in-law has balanced out my brother's bad ones.
we bes smart...well most of us and we bes edumacated

This is the younger of my two quite a bit older bros...this ladies and gents is Scott...Scott, blog, blog, Scott.

Oh yeah and he married a really beautiful and classy woman he is sickeningly and disgustingly in love with and worships after 3 kids and 13 years of marriage....I want that. Not only that she never gained baby weight!  WTF?  I hate her! No I love her very much!
This is just in my genetic code remember.

1.  Hair: I'm 28 years old and my hair is thinning.  I used to have this gorgeous thick (but baby fine) hair and tons of it, but now there isn't quite as much anymore. So, this one is BAD...
Um hi! just want to mention this could have something to do with certain extracurricular activities that are not so good to your body that I participated in A LOT in college...hello Catholic sheltered girl...gone wild...that was then...this is now. any future sons I have buy lots of hats cause
You will be bald...ask my bro S he'll tell you. Any future men in our family you're screwed!
2. Skin: Okay I do have to admit, good skin runs in our family as long as we don't develop Lupus which killed my grandmother before I ever met her.  I am not in the clear yet, but they check for it every time I go to the doctor ya know just in case.

3. Arms: Ever since I was a little kid I have had this kinda wierd rash on my arms.  No dermatologist can figure out what it is.  They say it's hereditary and I might just have to live with it.  Fun!  NOT see here's the thing...I've excepted it other people asking about it has not helped. Just hope that any children I have will get it...it's not bad looking it is just there and I hate it.

4. Stomachs: okay here's where life sucks balls....my brothers eat drink and be merry all they want until they pass out, me I eat one cookie and gain weight and where does this weight go? To my booty, so I can be bootylicious like my homegirl Beyonce, Of course not, it goes straight to my abdominal region and seems to build little fat communities and fight tooth and nail to stay there. I have a metabolism about as slow as a snail or turtle or someone standing still.  I work out with my trainer, "the sweat nazi," three days a week for an hour and I work hard....TRUST! 
okay childrens, lets me tell you a little story.  About a wee man named Logan

 Once upon a time there was this guy with wierd sideburns.  He loved Brazilian Ju Jitzu, which I hear is insanely hard to get a belt other than white in unless you train for like 10 years.  Well, Logan here works his tiny little butt off to win all these medal thingies.  He took home the Bronze, losing in the semi-finals to the guy who went on to win the gold.  I was impressed I have to admit *shhh don't tell him*  Thing is Logan, is a very wee lil man.  He has to fight in these tournament thingies in the lowest weight class, so this means practically starving himself to death and practicing this really hard sport 3 times a day with no food.  His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top sometimes.  But he's motivated and he has some amazing willpower.  So he wins medals and stuff then he goes and eats pizza and hot dogs and any fatty food he can get his wee little hands on. He's a good guy and a good friend.  He was even nice when he wasn't eating and let me tell you dear ones, had it been me instead, I would have been known to all of Nashvegas as the crazy bitch! So now Logan is trying to whip me into tip top shape and teaching me a new lifestyle!

So Logan kills me three times a week, it aint no joke...come work out with me I bes proving you wrong! Many have tried none have succeeded for instance the beautiful rachel tried

She kept up but she was sore for 3 straight days!
Nori is naturally thin and she doesn't eat well either! She makes me want to hurt her if I didn't love her so much. She did lighter weights than mine and half the reps and she was exhausted.

None of my supposedly "in shape" BFF's (which they interpret as skinny can keep up with me).

So it's a constant battle and I have to watch every tiny tidbit of food that goes in my mouth. Meanwhile, my brother is munching on Burger King and then even losing weight, but with R, there may be good reason for that.
5. Brains: My Mother is so intelligent it kills me.  She was educated in a one room school house in BFE Tennessee a town that makes Forks, WA look big in comparison. This woman can read a 400 page book in 2 hours flat.  She's the biggest speed reader I've ever seen.

on a happy note my parents have so insanely generously let me keep Logan for over a year now and I've lost 50ish pounds, you wouldn't know it.  But Rome wasn't built in a day so I PERSEVERE! I will wear a bikini and look good in it I'm determined!
Okay not this good..I mean come on it's Halle Berry I just wanna look decent where people don't point and laugh at the big fat lady in her big fat bikini...one reason I hate the beach, well the sand, but I bes fat and I don't wanna be in a bathing suit...Mountains anyone?

He's ( Dad)  about to drive her (my Mom)  nuts and she's so excited about our trip overseas since she has NEVER left the borders of the US of A.  We are hoping that while we are away and he goes down to visit his older, much calmer, and dependable sister in San Antonio (God, please let him make it okay) it's a long drive, see my dad is proud, he won't admit defeat and an airplane seatbelt would defeat him.  He's a sort of rotund fellow.  So he won't fly ANYWHERE unless it's a dire emergency, he's flown before but he had no other choice.  We are hoping that this is just a freak out cause he needs a break and my bro has decided to take a lot of vacation days lately.  

no matter how seperate or different my life might be from their world, I am reminded on a daily basis that I am the glue that holds our family together.  I was born glue and I will always remain glue.  I would say I was a peacemaker, but I sometimes stir up trouble because that's what lil sisters do

So like, my Dad and my bro own this "family" business that we have kept in the family for the past oh I don't know 72 years.  My grandfather started it the year my Dad was born. I think that was just a coincidence btw.

My bro pretty much runs the business and my Dad is like the "fatcat CEO" (not really if you saw the office you would understand I am soooo joking) that sits in his big chair and barks orders. Well my bro can usually ignore him, but lately he has taken it to a whole new level of Twilight Zoneness! Okay I think that's enough of my family drama for one day...maybe you can all get to live a little bit of my  another day....it's so fun being glue!

Love ya,

Friday, June 12, 2009

Almost Done with School! And btw it's FRIDAY:

Dear Friday: You are my favorite day ever! I love you even though you have to work on Friday the feeling of relief is palpable the minute you are done with the day.  Today after I finished writing my essay in my last class ever the sense of relief that washed over me was strong...the force was strong with that one!

Dear Blu-ray Peeps: You did it you fixed it! You rock...well not really, but thanks for fixing it for me, hope it lasts :)

Dear Kellebelle: Have fun on your Columbia girls weekend.  I'll see you Sunday for the premiere of True Blood and for me to give you last minute instructions on taking care of my house for me. 
P.S. I am so jealous of how funny your blog is kellebellesbadattitude.blogspot.com you are so naturally gifted at sarcasm that you don't even realize how awesome your blogs are!
sorry had a random Rpattz moment

Dear True Blood: Thank you so much for finally coming out and not to mention on the day before I leave for Europe.

Okay so I have a Purse Edward too and I took him to Kroger with me, he helped me shop.  He's being extra nice because he bit Kellebelle.  Her PE tried to make up for it, but mine has such a big heart that he wants to make up for hurting my friend so he's been trying to do everything for me.

He showed me some sales on cereal! 10 for 10 dollars is a good idea...he didn't want to be exposed to Nashvillians though because all the crazies are in town, so we went shopping on the sly!

Then he made sure that we get our Vitamin C in for our flight to London on Monday, he's stowing away in my purse, he has to go through the x-ray machine, wonder if they will ask me what he is?  He might be exposed! And he's so considerate he got the low-acid kind cause he knows the regular kind makes my stomach hurt! He's so sweet, well right now, he's groveling!

PE got a little pissed and we had a tiff in the car because I told him that was the Ipod Nano and he didn't believe me, he said it was too big to be called "nano" and that it was the regular kind.  Then he got all pissed cause I couldn't find him Claire de Lune! Whatevs! He owes me! You don't let your twin PE bite my best friend and just get away with it!
In typical male fashion after we found Clare de Lune on the Ipod NANO he got mad cause he saw my GPS system and was very offended.  I asked him why, while rolling my human eyes and he said, that if I would take him out more often and let him ride in the car with me he could tell me how to get everywhere and I wouldn't need this thing!
Typical man never wants to ask for directions.  I don't think he knows his way around my purse, much less Nashvegas.

Then just to shut him up, he wanted to drive! I said that he could if he could start the ignition all by himself...well instead his little pocket arm got stuck in the key ring, but he managed to get the key in the ignition just couldn't turn it! So Close!
Too bad guess the women folk will be driving today PE.

He wanted another chance so I told him if he could shift into drive I would let him help me drive.  Well he made it to Reverse but it took all his little pocket vampire power and then he was so tired he didn't want to drive anymore and asked to be put into his purse to rest for more adventures another day

Guess what?  Did you know that Lauren from laurensbite actually invented the name pocket edward wow we owe her more than we know...hint hint my pocket friends...

She is one cool chick that Lauren!

Here ends another adventure of Purse Edward and his many Nashville adventures...hopefully he will get to come out of the purse in Europe, but as my Mom has not been turned into a Twilight fan, I can't get her to read the books no matter what I do...she may not help me have adventures with PE in Europe but at least he will get to go along in my purse!

Stay tuned to see how that turns out! I'll be gone until the end of the month don't forget me! I leave Monday mornin! Love ya! And if I fail to deliver on my promise to send you all post cards from Europe I'll buy them and send them from Nashville, at least I will have bought them over there!

Okay comment me and tell me what you think! Kellebelle wants me to get a pocket Angel to be Pocket/Purse Edward's company...what do you think should I get one????? Comment me and tell me yes or no!

Love ya!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The World Conspires Against Me on A Daily Basis!

Dear Remote Control: I swear I have a ghost or just menacingly bitchy bff (you know who you are kellebelle) who either swipes the remote or takes it and hides it under the pillow nearest her...coincidence? I think not! oh yeah and stop getting stuck in the couch cushions and come when I call you! Accio Remote!!!!!

Dear Blu-ray Fixer Peeps: you have held my player hostage long enough, how come when I sent it Fed-ex it took oh I dunno----1day to get to you but when you "supposedly" have shipped it, it takes forever to get here?

There is only one thing good about a migraine--Pocket Edward Adventures...wanna see?  go to Kellebellesbadattitude.blogspot.com see button -----------> over there somewhere

This has to be some of the FUNNIEST SHIZZ I've ever seen...

Wanna see something else that's hilarious?

If you have any interest in Pocket Edward stuff! Watch this!

Oh my god! Edward sparkles in this and everything....WATCH IT! DO IT!

Despite my official warnings not to Kellebelle has decided to let Illyria (aka smurf girl)
out of her box and she's getting PE to do it! She will kill him!  
He will be so jealous cause she can bend her legs and he can't!

Me and PE had some fun at Kroger as we were being stealthy trying to buy some food...
didn't want anyone to know he was in town! They might mob him, he does look an awful lot
like this actor guy called Rpottz or somethin' plus there is a lot of crazy looking out for celebs
peeps in town this week...not wanting PE to get mobbed by paps and all.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Thanks for Being You!

Dear Friends: Thanks for following, you will be rewarded comment me with your address and when I leave for Europe on Monday I will try in the two weeks I'm in Europe to send a postcard to all 4 of my followers. Good things come to those who follow!

Dear Kellebelle: Don't forget me when I'm in Europe! Love ya! even though you have all your new "old high school friends" Damn you for having such a funny blog that mine looks like crappy crap in comparison! :D

Dear LG people: I try to be tolerant and all that but you are seriously pissing me off. If I call to ask if my Blu-ray player is fixed here's the answer I want...yes or no...nothing else. And I'm not prejudiced and all, but please give me costumer service agents that SPEAK ENGLISH

Dear Gas:
Get cheaper! You are pissing me off! kthanxbye!

Dear Pharmacists:
screw your sign! If I push the button and you don't come after
five minutes I WILL push it again!

Just give me my meds and go away kthanxbye!
My blog has been lacking with the R to the Pattinson
Remedy Below:

Dear Garage Door: I have no amount of words to express my gratitude about how you've takin' a lickin and kept on tickin'

Dear GM: I hate you! I want a Japanese car! I'm so sick of my frickin Chevy it's always something with you dammit! Lamespice!

Dear Ryan Reynolds:

Thanks for being so hot!

Dear School: 1 project down, several to go before Friday (thank god) almost done

Dear True Blood Season 2: Hurry the hell up and get here already I'm sick of waiting for Vampire Man meat.

Dear Trip: When the hell am I gonna pack and how are my clothes gonna get clean? I have to go do laundry now....I hate laundry!

Dear Kellebelle1981: Please continue to post man meat and funny stuff on your blog while I'm in Europe because if I can find internet access I wanna read!

Dear China: Make pocket Wesley, pocket Angel and for my kellebelle, pocket Spike kthanxbye!

Love you