MY INSANELY FREAKIN' COMPLICATED LIFE!

This is my parents house in Nashville where I grew up! 

Dear Mom and Dad:  Yous be the bees knees...love you...I know we fight but I never stop loving you even when I have ocassional Menedez Brothers fantasies without the getting caught and put in jail part...:)  love you!

Dear My Older Bros:  you two are baby factories...evidence below

Two of my four nieces:  In pink is the oldest this picture is obviously a couple of years old...Addie...in pink is TEN and in the fourth grade, in the Fall she will be in the 5th

Obviously not a hard age or anything!  Revenge is my Mother's now my brother knows what he put my poor Mom through when he was growing up!

She is obssessed with the jonas brothers...groddy... and the spitting image of my bro!

The other one is Allie, my sister-in-law loves those "A" names.  She's 8 and in the 2nd grade and just had her first communion...it's a Catholic thang.  She has like 10 boyfriends or at least 10 boys who love her! She has a better dating life than me at EIGHT years old. Lamespice!

Okay here is Allie the middle of my bro Scott's kids and her lil bro Brice my one and only nephew! (allie is also in the pic above on the right) It's hard for even me to keep them straight! They don't really look like my bro....ummm hi Mr Mail Man! jk  see reason below about sickeningly and disgustingly in love..

Dear Complicated and Huge Family:  k see if you can keep up! I have two brothers.

Richard-42 almost 43

Scott-40 going on 41

Then 12 random years later my Mom went to the doctor thinking she was going through the "big change" at 39 and SURPRISE! ME! I'm only twenty something...just do the math..duh!

Okay, now here's where it gets confusing!

OKAY SO FAR introduced you to 2 nieces! and one nephew Addie 10, Allie 8 and then there is Brice 6 (see above pics)

I have 4 nieces and 1 nephew-ME=CONSTANT BABYSITTER

Richard the oldest bro: is divorced and a single Dad to Jenna (my spitting image...it's seriously like mini-me)  she's 6 and going to be in 1st grade and Kellie, spelled like that, and she's 5 and going to be in Kindergarten in the fall.

Here is my bro Rich with Jenna on right and Kelley on left and that is my hand next to her.

Here below is my oldest brother Richard's two daughters:

Jenna on left 6 Kellie on right 5

Okay...

UNIVERSAL TRUTH#1-Vampires=hot....

UNIVERSAL TRUTH #2- Working at a daycare is the BEST form of birth control

(thank you kellebelle)!

and the one that will prolly get me a straight trip to the burning fire place (you know where I mean!)  below

UNIVERSAL TRUTH #3- Catholic nuns who teach are mean!

HERE'S WHY:  My bro Rich, went to Catholic school back when they believed and could give you physical punishment he was a bad kid (don't know why wasn't born yet but I've heard stories that would blow you away) NUNS LOCKED HIM IN A CLOSET for like 30 minutes at a time!!!!!!! Can you BELIEVE that?  Dude!  They would also paddle you, so he was paddled A LOT! His butt still hurts sometimes from flashbacks

THE POINT: Oldest Bro=hates Catholic schools and especially nuns! So his daughters go to public school which is no biggie because I am gonna be a teacher very soon so it will all work out!

Dear Mr. Webster (guy who wrote the dictionary): why is there a word for a collection of male and female brothers and sisters for example:

I have two siblings.  Could be boys or girls see?

There is no collective word for nieces and nephews...wtf...it would make my life so much easier if there were.

Dear Catholic School: you suck! I know because I went to two for 13 years! I was taught by nuns and they were mean...see Universal Truth #3 above... Scott's kids go to the same HELL I went to...aka St. Henry School (Catholic schools are a big deal here in Nashvegas)

 This = my form of hell for 9 of my most important childhood years...that place is lamespice!

Dear Scott: My older but not the oldest of my two brothers...Love you!

He is father to Addie, Allie, and Brice.  10,8, 6  I became an aunt at 17!

He is disgustingly and sickeningly madly in love with his wife of 13 years my sister-in-law Andra...more "A" names...confused yet?  they seem to be more in love with every passing year...I want a marriage like that....won't settle for anything less

Dear Crazy Bitch: I have an EX sister-in-law who is literally crazy...I mean locked in a padded room talks to walls, crazy!  Therefore, the reason, my oldest brother is a single Dad.

She was normal for like 5 minutes when they were married....then...had both my nieces 11 months apart...and went off the deep end where no sane person could rescue her

Dear Smoking: you bes sicknast to the max!  

Even worse: sitting with your 7 months pregnant ex sister-in-law in the smoking section (before no smoking in buildings laws) while she chain smokes....PREGNANT! Holy God it was horrible...my nieces are truly a miracle...they were both born premature but now are healthy as can be :) 

Dear Nieces and Nephew: I love you so much and would do anything for you!

Then there is me....I'm rather simple...single...still in school (almost finished) THANK GOD!

No kids again (thank god) I do want kids some day but not right now I have enough kids in my life see above novel!

I am also studying to be an elementary school teacher....me=sadist

Love kids it's my thang!

Dear Anyone Who is Reading This: you=awesomespice cause this is so long!

And that is just part of the craziness that is my life...maybe tomorrow we will explore my school and parents' health...

Dear Hotness Guys: Celeb Man Meat keeps me sane!