Dear Mailman: Please don't deliver this ever again! You lose the good stuff, but this monstrosity arrives right on time!
Then Friday got here and this came in the mail
Dear World: You suck! Why do you hate me? I've tried to be a good person why do you punish me so?
Okay like of all the girls on the set of his movie, hello, Ashley Greene, Nikki Reed, whoever, why this tennis shoe with a dress wearing, cross-eyed, awkward loser would capture the heart of the Ultimate hotness...no one knows! The world is just unfair!
UNIVERSAL TRUTH #4: No one in Nashville can drive at all!
Dear Life I wish I had: My life sucks...I have to have the man of my dreams in love with the girl of my nightmares!
OH MY God! I'm so pissed!
Dear Idyllic "looking" Life: To all of you who saw my supposedly "perfect" family, trust me my family is far from it! My Bros are most of the time oblivious to my existence unless they need a babysitter. My niece has a horrible attitude and thinks she's god's gift to the world, which her parents pretty much act like too.
Dear Crazy Stalker Bitch Ex Sister-in-law: You know you have a crazy ex sister in law when you get a text from you brother that says and I quote, "The psych ward called they said somone showed up smoking a joint, wearing a thong, and riding a goat. I will come get you this time but this shit has got to stop." Okay, I literally thought this was a text message meant to go to my ex-sister in law. She's a pot head, who thinks she's sexy and would wear a thong and she lives on a horse farm, so I'm like Rich is this supposed to go to Lisa???? He was like no it's a joke but what is sad is I THOUGHT IT COULD REALLY BE HER!!!!
I'll get into the stalking part of her personality another day.
Dear Belk: What the hell did I buy at your horrible store to incur a bill of over 500 dollars...I paid the interest free payment, quit having your computer voice call me once an hour!!!!
God it's been a great frickin day
Dear Jeff Dunham: Come bring, Walter, Peanut, Achmed and all the puppets to make me laugh I'm so sick of nothing going on in Nashville! This is music city and there aren't even any good concerts! WTF
Ahh! Shut up! What are you bitching about at least your young!-Walter
Silence! I kill you!-Achmed
It was a GREAT FRICKIN DAY!- Peanut No senor-Jose Jalapeno
I hate this day and the weekend is too short and my two best friends went to a high school I didn't and their 10 year high school reunion is this weekend and I can't go...
Okay let's recap! Friday took forever, get horrible news in the mail! No comedy! Crazy ex sister-in-law, wierd text message from my bro, no clean clothes for Europe in a week from Monday and did I mention school sucks?
SOMEONE SAVE ME!