Friday, August 21, 2009

A Blog on Why I don't Blog Anymore! LOL

K, so hi! Long time no blog right? Right? I said RIGHT!

Okay then, now that that's settled...let's address the issues...sometimes the gossip mags make me laugh here is an example:

Us Weekly did a:
This is Your Future?:

Kim changed your hair after breaking up with your original...NOT!
Is Kim Kardashian destined to become J-Lo...let's see

1.) J-Lo can sing, Kim can't
2.) J-Lo can act, Kim can't
3.)J-Lo is a good business woman, Kim isn't....

Do we see a pattern or not a pattern here or what? Apart from the use of bleach on their heads I see NO similarities! Maybe it's just me...

Somewhere in the world Adrien Grenier is crossing his fingers and begging that he will turn out as good as this man belowAdrien ain't got nothin' on you babe! You Got It Dude!

Will Jessica Simpson undergo way too much plastic surgery and turn into this woman?:

Loni Anderson...just say no to Botox! and Just say no to plastic surgery...although

It's a little TOO LATE!


Will obscurity and old age be his future like this man ACCORDING TO US WEEKLY
Will RPattz disappear into the shadows of used to be?

Luke Perry was kinda the "Rpattz" of his day...before New Moon was even a gleam in Stephenie Meyer's which is it...whatever you get the picture!


Rebecca Romijn's managed to neuter this one into Mr. Mom

sorry Jerry you didn't have a chance you ain't got nothin on John Stamos!

Poor dude has to stay home with the twin girls while their Mom is bringing home the bacon.

I hope that his baby girls don't turn into girl versions of this:

OH god! Let's pray they got some of Rebecca's genes...If I were Jerry I would be afraid!

Dear Miley Cyrus: Please examine your birth certificate! You are 16 start acting like it instead of like a ho...that's way older...
and why in the hell did you pick the TEEN Choice Awards to do this?

As Chris Rock says, your one duty as a Father is to keep your daughter OFF THE POLE!

Dear Billy Ray Cyrus: HELLO!!! See Above, she needs grounding!!! Stop this girl's allowance or something! I mean DAMN man! She's 16! Right now as it stands you are and EPIC FAIL of a Dad!

Once Upon a Time when Angelina Jolie was still doing coke and carrying Billy Bob's blood around her neck in a vial, Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt decided to start a movie company together and bought the rights to The Time Traveler's Wife.

Then, came the future and can you imagine if they had starred in it like they planned



Instead, Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams starred in the Time Traveler's Wife (Jennifer Aniston) became no one's wife!

And the Time Traveler (Brad Pitt) became one half of Brangelina with like 100 kids....

So it's prolly good that these two starred instead:

Phew! We avoided the ultimate AWKWARD moment! That coulda been wierd. It's why I'm so scared that if these couples break up what is going to happen to their show?

Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin got all engaged and stuff, if they break-up it might ruin their chemistry on screen

or kill the chances for Team Eric! NO!

Don't you two dare ruin TRUE BLOOD
I will cut a bitch and by bitch I mean Vampire Bill!

You two can date. You can hook up. You can do whatever you want I'm not your Momma, but please for the sake of the millions of Twilight fans out there DON'T SCREW UP EDWARD AND BELLA.

If your dating will mess with Edward and Bella's onscreen chemistry and you two are not good enough actors to pretend to be in Edward and Bella's clandestined romance, then please for the love of God! Don't screw it all up.

Please don't break up before you finish shooting BREAKING DAWN!

in other news this is some smokin hot jail-bait!

Hello hotness! Damn, even in the book you are jail-bait until Breaking Dawn or wait even when...I need to read it again!

Dear Nikki Reed: Never, never, never...did I mention never, date a guy that either:
1.) Has the name Paris
2.) Has ever dated Paris Hilton
Your current boyfriend fits both these descriptions....good picking! NOT!

Dear Alyssa Milano: congrats on your marriage to whoever you married! Hope you are happy! That's all!

K, now in both Us Weekly and OK! mags they talk about this steamy smooch between Rob and Kstew...why if there was a kiss didn't anyone get a PICTURE OF IT!

They got a picture of the "lean-in," but not the actual Did the Papparazzi all sneeze when this mysterious kiss happened?
I don't really care, like I said just shoot the movies and don't let this "maybe" relationship mess up the movie chemistry...kthanxbye

Dear Kstew: I understand why you did it. I think it's good that you are devoted to your art, but shooting is over! GO SEE A HAIR STYLIST STAT!

Dear RPattz: I am starting a collection to buy you some new t-shirts. That one needs to go to the landfill and you and Kristen need showers...Just sayin' you coulda tried a little harder when going out on the town and on a "date" or whatever!
Please? For me? Kthanxbye!

get rid of this....NOW!!! It's time to retire the ole jersey Rob...srsly! Buy some new shirts you have money now there is this verb called shopping...start doing it! ASAP!

Okay, that's all for today

Oh yeah about me,
1.) Finger not completely healed unfortunately
2.) Friday seemed like it took months to get here
3.) I have no time to blog or tweet
4.) I have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn
5.) I am TIRED and my car still has some "trick" to it, that I haven't learned yet...

That's all!

Dear Nori: You will never read my blog prolly, but I love you and I'm glad that you came to see me come up more often...

and to end this with a bang!

Twi-tour in January and New Moon in November...let's hope the days start ticking faster than they seem...right now time is doing the complete opposite of flying, it's landing...err...standing still


That's all, that's my opinion 'oughta be yours!

The Queen of Randomness


  1. LMAO I love you!! I have never understood how they can call those pics 'proof' of anything when the paps conveniantly didn't get the kiss shot!! *rolls eyes* On a more important that pic...I SEE JACKSON!! *drool* Ok I'm happy now!!

    Oh...btw...ERIC BANA!! YUMMY!!

  2. You're so funny lol I love this blog.

  3. I agree. Lame celebs. Miley is another victim of bad parenting. OMG! Jerry I Connel is as ugly as hell. I'm not a Stamos fan yet holyshit! Jerry makes John look like mr.Jailbait Taylor. As for Rob's jersey you are so right. Lol